the hardest job there is,
worst paying job out there,
yet the most rewarding job one could have.
Like any other job out there, being a mom comes with its ups and downs, pros and cons, the good, the bad and most certainly the ugly.
My life and job as a mom has left me experiencing the bad, the cons and the UGLY more often than not. To be honest, it has left me feeling quite unhappy and inadequate, like I am not enough for my myself, my husband and my kids.
I have everything that I have always wanted/dreamed of so why am I not happy?
Am I unhappy with… my marriage? my kids? my life? my job? Unhappy with my home? Am I unhappy with myself?
I lay in bed at night, thinking what if….
- what if… I am not good enough
- what if… I am not beautiful/skinny enough
- what if…I was too mean, angry, acted too harsh
- what if…I didn’t love on my family enough
- what if…they don’t know that I love them despite
- what if… I am not strong enough
- what if… I am too impatient
- what if… I am not smart enough
- what if… I am too coddling/enabling
- what if…I would have said “this” instead
- what if…I do this next time
- what if….what if…what if….
The truth is, none of this honestly matters. It may matter to me, but to the rest of my tribe….they could care less!!!! At the end of the day, they are happy, healthy, sleeping soundly and DEFINITELY know that they are LOVED. Loved by me, their mom. Their number 1 fan. Their personal assistant, cook, nurse, teacher, driver, etc., etc., etc.
But most importantly they are loved by God, our Heavenly Father Above. I am thankful and blessed and honored that God chose me to be the mother of my children, and the wife to my best friend. If I am good enough, strong enough, smart enough, patient enough, kind enough and so much more for God, than I AM ENOUGH for myself, my family and my God.
These feelings of defeat and inadequacy that accompany mom life will come and go just as the ups go down and downs go up. Some days are better than others, but they are ALL good…enough. And I am TRULY HAPPY with my life. job, family and self…just may not be happy with how things worked out that particular day.
So here is to a good night’s sleep and a fresh start tomorrow (and hoping the sun decides to shine bright).
Much love, hugs and blessing to all you fellow #momlife conquerors.