Feeling a bit blue

Today has been an emotional day in so many ways.

It really is hard to explain how one feels when their emotions are all over the place.

One minute happy.

One minute sad.

Then next minute a bit hurt and pissed (pardon my language).

Then back to sad emotion, but this time a bit more depressed and the tears start coming and you can’t seem to stop them. No matter what you try.

First, my 10 year anniversary is coming up next week and my husband is on the other side of the continent and we unable to celebrate together. I am thankful that he has a job, proud of the hard work that he does (and he is good at it), but I can’t help but miss him more than normal right now and would love for him to be able to come home. But life happens!!!

Second, my beautiful, funny, sarcastic, smart yet sensitive niece graduation high school yesterday and her graduation is tonight. I am so proud of her, yet she makes me feel OLD. My own kids don’t make me feel old, they do their best to keep me young at heart.

Third, continuing with my niece’s graduation, all I can think about is how happy and proud and delighted and overcome with joy my mother would be. It truly is the worse pain to grieve a loved one during times of celebrating these wonderful milestones.

Fourth, I am gearing up to spend another summer with my dad traveling overseas. It kind of sucks not having certain people in your life during times that you may need them. However, I am SO excited for him to reconnect with old friends in the land down under.

Fifth, my oldest friend turns 40 today. Which means I will be turning 40 in a few short months (shhh don’t tell anybody!).

Lastly, my neighbor and good friend has packed up her house, her family and her life and moved away today. The bad part about the whole situation is that we really haven’t talked or seen each other much in the past month. At times I seriously thought that it was because it was due to avoidance. Were we avoiding each other because

  • we didn’t want to say good bye?
  • we didn’t want to say something we would regret?
  • we didn’t want to cry?
  • it was too painful?
  • someone was mad?
  • someone lied about something?
  • we didn’t know what to say or do?
  • none of the above?
  • all of the above?

But in the end, her truck pulled out of the driveway without a good bye said. No smile or wave seen. No hug given. Just a text that said…”take care & lots of love” Now my emotions and tears are back in full force.

Oh what a day!!!!! Hope you all have a more enjoyable Friday than I am.


One thought on “Feeling a bit blue

  1. That’s a lot to handle all at once. I really feel for you. I hope you can at least connect with your husband on your anniversary (Skype or Facetime???) – and make up for it when he’s back home!
    I feel your pain on the moving issue. I’ve heard the phrase, “It’s harder to be left than to leave.” And sometimes people avoid the goodbyes because they think it’s easier, but people need closure. Hopefully you two can reconnect at some point…
    I hope your weekend is better!


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