How the Chaos Began

So I did it! I made the jump into the world of blogging.


The simple, quick and easy answer…I need a place to jot down all the thoughts running through my mind causing a chaotic mess.

The long and complicated answer… just a little over 2.5 years ago, the beautiful mess I call my life officially became my beautiful chaotic mess when I found out that I was pregnant with baby #4. The thought of a new baby brought happy and joyous thoughts to my mind, along with shock, panic and more shock. You see, 1 week prior to finding out I had my gall bladder removed. Three months prior, my husband started a new job in a different state and 5 months prior I just gave birth to baby #3. A lot had happened in a few short months and lot more was about to happen in the upcoming months.

Since that moment, we sold a house, rented a house, bought a house, moved 2 times, welcomed baby #4, adopted a puppy, celebrated many birthdays and holidays and even suffered a loss of a parent. Which brings me to he reason why I am now blogging.

Almost 10 months ago I entered into the world of motherless daughters when I lost my mom to complications from lung cancer. That was the worst day of my life thus far! My mom was my best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime, my role model and the best mom a girl could ask for. The day she died changed my life in so many ways, ways in which are hard to explain. I now look at life differently. I ‘mother’ differently. I ‘wife’ differently. I ‘friend’ differently. And certainly ‘love’ and ‘daughter’ differently. Moving forward without her in my life is different, an uncomfortable different. I can’t say that it has gotten any easier, but I can say it has become the new ‘norm’.

I miss her and think of her each and everyday. A LOT! Now with Christmas (her favorite) approaching, it just hits a little bit harder and deeper. And all these thoughts, memories, prayers I have floating in my head, I needed a place for them to escape to, with hopes they are a help and a blessing to someone else going through something similar. If that is you who is reading this, just remember you are not alone and with God’s love and strength we will get through this….together.

If that’s not you, thanks for reading anyways.



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